When we don’t choose us first, we can’t give as much to others. This can easily be seen if we look at motherhood. It’s easy to fill our cup before having a baby. As women, once children arrive in our lives it’s all about them.
We can easily start to serve from an empty cup…
I lost myself trying to make it good for everyone else, especially during pre and post pregnancies. I delivered premature twins (26 weeks gestation, around 2 pounds each when my first child was only 15 months old).
When we bring children into this world, all intentions are focused on their needs. It’s so easy and natural to be in that mindset. That’s why it’s so important to come back to you.
CHOOSE your path, your actions, and how you use your time. Sprinkle in time for YOU throughout your day, even if it means just closing your eyes while doing the dishes.
We feel selfish at first for taking those righteous steps. There’s a sense of ‘I’m not used to this, it must somehow be wrong’. Then our thoughts shift to the question, ‘Should I really be doing this or that?’.
It’s also easy to get into codependency with a spouse or with a child. That doesn’t serve anybody! I believe that you have to create a post birth plan of action, because you’re not going to want to do it. You’re not going to feel like leaving that baby or whatever. It’s important to cut the cord literally as well as emotionally.
Choosing unity is about choosing LOVE. We make choices with our hearts from a place of LOVE. Sometimes people are not very lovable, we can still hold space to LOVE them. That doesn’t mean we have to be controlled by them, talk to them, or even live with them.
Choice Leads to Action
Do you ever feel selfish putting yourself first, choosing you? SELF-CARE isn’t selfish. We cannot serve from an empty cup. You are WORTHY of PEACE, REST, and EXCITEMENT. Why not spend some extra time with yourself, and OPEN UP to all the ways life has to offer for refilling YOUR cup?
Ideas for Refilling Your Own Cup
Walks in nature, a good read, staring at the wall for one minute to an hour, trying a new recipe or fika with a friend! Fika is a Swedish word for ‘coffee break’ and one that’s more about socializing, than drinking coffee. You say you want more ideas? Okay, how about meditating, tickling your kids, calling an old friend, reorganizing your closet, a warm bath, etc.
What does your PLEASURE LIST look like? You have one, right? or do you call it a TO-DO LIST? How is it that you take pleasure in everything you do? How do you really CARE for yourself? What FILLS your cup?
Establishing Healthy Boundaries
When establishing BOUNDARIES in life and work it’s never been a question of whether we LOVE people or not. Having healthy boundaries simply means that YOU are important TOO. Let’s capture that yucky feeling of SELFISH and REFRAME it as CLAIMING our inner space for something that SERVES us better.
“What am I GRATEFUL for?”
That’s ONE QUESTION that can instantly -> BROADEN my horizons -> REMEDIATE my wounds -> and INSPIRE my JOY. …I always keep it close at hand!
Your Journey MATTERS!
Whose ADVICE are you taking? As humans we are way TOO QUICK to give advice, and advice is given for many reasons. Sometimes advice is based on fear, solving a problem or meeting a need. Being given advice can also stem from jealousy or disapproval.
Many times the advice you are given is NOT in alignment with your specific journey, purpose or vision. Just because someone is offering guidance DOESN’T mean they know more than you.
Avoid receiving advice from someone who gave up on their own dream and think they have the POWER to steal yours! Sometimes we need to EMBRACE the support and DITCH the advice!
Seek GUIDANCE from those who understand where you want to go. Better yet, from those who have already BEEN THERE! Surround yourself with SUPPORT from the people who LOVE you.
Accepting who we are doesn’t mean there aren’t parts of ourselves we don’t want to develop. Choice leads to action. Choosing and finding unity is about finding authentic connections with our children.
Bio: After meeting her own needs first, Jenny Landgren was easily able to hold space for her three young children. Jenny understands the importance of asking questions and listening with respect. This helped her to figure out what her kids really needed. Through non-judgmental listening, she was able to give them the message that they are worthy. Treating their every trace of vulnerability with grace, ignited a spark for them to believe as well.
Message to her younger self: Enjoy your days, allow things to take time, and remember that life is a journey of discovery and growth.
Her famous quote: “Love doesn’t always look all that loveable. It’s all about what’s best for you and even what’s best for the other person. Sometimes loving people means letting them go.” ~ Jenny Landgren
Her famous mantra: A person’s vulnerability is a GIFT, let’s treat it as such!
Her POV: Choosing unity starts with us.
Connect with Jenny here…